


In Another World

by thingyoudowiththatthing



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: F/M, Implied Sexual Content, Love Lost - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-21
Updated: 2018-11-21
Packaged: 2019-08-27 07:02:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16697665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thingyoudowiththatthing/pseuds/thingyoudowiththatthing
Summary: The one that got away





	In Another World

You pulled your chair towards your closet and use it as a ladder to reach the top shelf. Pushing a few things aside,  you reachied for the box you kept hidden in the back corner. The sight of it was enough to almost force the tears that had been threatening to spill all day down your cheeks. You’d been a mess ever since you had seen his wedding picture on the cover of Star magazine that morning.

You pulled the box from it’s hiding place before stepping down off of the chair and lowering yourself to the floor. You ran your fingers over the ribbons on top of the box a few times, debating whether or not to open it. Your little blue box of memories. Memories of him and the love you had once shared. Maybe the past belong it the past. He had moved on, and so should you. Looking at old pictures and trinkets would not magically bring him back into your arms. It had been over for a long time. You had not thought about him in years. Not really. Not until you were faced with the reality that he would never again be yours.

The shock and sadness had numbed you, and you had excused yourself from work at the restaurant saying you were feeling unwell. Which had not been a lie. You had been nauseous and dizzy. Your mind had been a jumble of memories flashing through your head, and your eyes welled up with tears. You replayed the last time you had seen him over and over in your mind. His beautiful smile and green eyes shining as he winked at you, before getting into his truck and driving out of your life. You just hadn’t known it at the time.

You had tried to make it work,  and it had in the beginning until the time and distance started to take it’s toll. Phone calls and letters had not been enough for your naive young heart to keep from getting jealous of the girls he was kissing on your TV. It hadn’t been enough for you not to end things with him, and now you were paying the price for your stupidity.

You slowly opened your little box of memories, and your heart almost stopped when you were faced with your picture. You were laying on your bed, holding the camera above you, giggling, and laughing. Jensen’s lips were on your neck, smirking against your skin. He had made you happy back then, and he had set a standard no other guy had come close to measure up to. You slowly pulled the tabloid from your purse, keeping your eyes closed until you thought were ready to see it again. Still, your heart dropped as you saw them. The way their eyes were glowing. How handsome and grow up he looked in his black tux and how beautiful the woman in his arms was.

Danneel. How you wanted to hate her, but for some reason, you couldn’t. She was the reason for the light in his eyes and for his happiness, so how could you? You had been the one to let him get away. You couldn’t blame her for that, but there was no denying you were jealous. You wanted to be the one in the white gown. The one that put the smile on his face and the one that he held close. She was a lucky girl.

You put down the magazine and started sifting through your box of memories. You smiled when you saw the movie ticket from your first date. Maverick. You bit your lip remembering how nervous he was when he first asked you out. Running his hand behind his neck and looking anywhere but at you. He acted like he thought you were going to say no. You ran your fingers over the old movie ticket as you remember that night. Sitting in the theatre with him. Your hands brushing together a few times before he finally gathered up the courage to intertwine his fingers with yours. You could still feel your heartbeat begin to race as you thought of it. You remembered being 16 and hiding under the lights on your parents porch as you said goodnight. He had lingered for a moment before leaning in. He had been your first kiss and you his. The thought of it made the butterflies in your stomach fly wildly just like they had back then.

You remembered how careful he had been with you, like he was afraid you were going to break with that first kiss. It changed in time but never fully went away. You closed your eyes, remembering his touch. How warm the skin on your neck had felt beneath his hand and how he had made your head spin as his tongue danced with yours. Being in his arms had felt like home and like an adventure all at the same time. You remembered barely hearing your parents yelling “how did it go” as you ran up the stairs after saying goodnight to him. You had leaned against your closed bedroom door for a second before practically skipping through the room and letting yourself fall onto the bed. You stared up at the ceiling as you replayed your kiss over and over in your mind, giddy and giggling. High on love and on him. You had been his first kiss, but she would be the last.  

When you opened your eyes, tears were streaming down your cheeks. You weren’t sure why you were crying. You weren’t sure if you were missing him or the future you never got. If you were missing the boy you had known or if you wanted the man in the picture you robbed yourself from ever meeting. All you knew was that your heart was breaking. You were yearning for him, longing to feel his touch once more, and the knowledge you never would felt like a thousand daggers to your heart.

You shifted through the box of letters, the stuffed bear he had won for you at the fair, the necklace he had given you for your birthday until you finally found it. His ring.

She had gotten a diamond, and the wedding band was shinning on her hand, holding a promise of his eternal love. She was his future. His last everything. You were his past. His first everything.

You remembered the night he had made love to you for the first time in the backseat of his dad’s old truck. You remembered how nervous you had both been. How gentle, warm, and loving his touch was. How he shivered with you as he stared into your eyes. You remembered him whispering I love you as you rested in his arms afterward, and you whispered it right back to him. That night you had thought the two of you would be together forever. You had been certain your love would last a lifetime. That first would mean last. It hadn’t, but you had gotten something she never would.

He gave you his class ring before he said goodbye, before he drove off in search of his dreams. The bittersweet feeling of your goodbye was still with you. You had been so happy when he slide the ring through your necklace, certain nothing would keep you apart forever. No obstacles or distance would be too much for you. You had thought he would be yours forever, just like you had wanted. Hell, still wanted to have been his. So you smiled through your tears as the boy you loved went off in search of his dreams. The dreams you had dreamed together. He had gotten to live his. He had become the actor he had wanted to be, and you had gotten to live yours. Running your own restaurant. You had just never thought that either of you would live your dreams apart when you first dreamed them while laying together on your bed. Kissing and making plans. You had never thought that the taillights of his car that night would be the last you would see of him, and you clenched his class ring in your hand as you looked down at the picture.

She was his future. You were his past. In another world that could have been different, but still, you weren’t sure if you would trade places with her. If you had a choice which one you would choose? In another world, you could have had it all, but in this world, the two of you each had a part of him the other would never have.

You took a deep breath and shoved the magazine into the box before pushing it back into it corner on the top shelf of your closet. The ring remained in your hand as you laid down on your bed, closing your eyes and dreaming of another world where the class ring was a wedding band. You fell asleep hoping you would wake up to that world and the feeling of his arms wrapped safely around you, but your knew you were fooling yourself. Still, you had no other choice. If you didn’t dream, your heart would stop beating. You would cry until you were dr, and the pain clenching through your chest had become too much.

You held on to what you knew was true. You were his first. You knew he carried you with him, but his love was now reserved for her. You would have to learn to live with your mistake, and you would, but for tonight he was with you. He danced with you on your wedding day, and make love to you in your dreams. Tomorrow he would be your past, and you would leave the other world and him behind. You would go on, and she would be the one he held. You would be a memory in the back of his mind, and she would be the one he grew old with while you went to bed alone. You got the boy, but she got the man.  


End file.
